If you want people to listen to you, listen to them first

Thursday, 9 January, 2014

If you want people to like you, make them like themselves.

Yes, I know, you want them to appreciate you. You want to feel appreciated. That’s what everybody wants, to feel like they matter.

And yes, you do matter. Unfortunately, nobody has the time to tell you that. Not your parents, not your friends.. Maybe not even your significant other. We’re all far too busy to do that. We’re busy watching TV, keeping track of the people we envy on facebook, laughing at cats on the internet. We’re too busy to care for one another. We’re too busy to care for ourselves.

We rely on others’ opinion, we want to show them how good we are, how much we matter. We’re mostly showing it to ourselves. The others don’t care, and maybe sometimes that hurts.

We’re both thinking, at the same time: Stop talking about yourself (unless it’s something interesting, something that makes me feel better about myself). I do not have time to listen to you, I have to show you how good I am. Stop telling me stuff about your school, I don’t care, I want to tell you about what a great student I was in school, how I was the best. 

I used to be rather good at maths. (See? I’m worth something.)

Me, no, I used to like to write. I would always write and my teacher would read my work in front of the class. Yeah, that was so embarrassing. (I don’t care about your accomplishments, you need to hear mine and tell me that I am good and that I matter.)

Yeah, see, that’s why I always skipped language class. (I’m too good for language class. See? I’m that good, I’m important, I matter.)

How much do you listen to the people you don’t really know? People who don’t really know you?

How come that doesn’t happen when you talk to your true friends, the people that do know you, the people for whom you know that you matter? How much do you listen to them?

And suddenly, knowing that you matter, changes everything. A conversation with a friend seems the most natural thing in the world.

A conversation with a stranger makes you frustrated. You think about what you should say next, to prove your worth. You don’t get to say it. Now he won’t know how important I am.

If you want people to listen to you, listen to them first.

Advertisements

One Response to “If you want people to listen to you, listen to them first”

  1. danyroko Says:

    ‘A conversation with a friend seems the most natural thing in the world. A conversation with a stranger makes you frustrated.’
    Asta voiam sa zic ieri, dar tu ai spus-o mai bine.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: